imagine.type.live.love.

I'm in the library now taking a break from studying for my organic chemistry test today. I've been studying all week, so you can infer that I have a certain amount of mental fatigue, given by studying, and studying, and studying. Anyway, I working on a project soon with Danny. I don't want to say too much; however, it's creative and going to be a blast to work on. I don't have much time to surf the web or post blogs--BACK TO MY STUDIES!

I've recently been doing a whole lot of studying. I feel so busy when I have an organic chemistry test coming up this Friday. It always gets me feeling a little tense, feeling like I need to be studying non-stop up until the test. I hate feeling so stressed. If possible, I'd live life so stress free--have a simple job, a simple family, a simple life. (Siddhartha Gautama got something right about life and making life simple.) I like that simple approach to life, where there is no outershell of crud that cakes on through the course of our busy, too structured lives. If we could just get down to being simple. live.type.live.love. We could just trust in God and love one another. Maybe i could make it work.

As a side note to all that living stuff, I guess a more light note: I have a song that Jon Daly wrote, sung by me found at this site. Check it out. It's a decent song. Unfortunately, I was sick while recording, but it's a decent recording. It's an mp3 file, and it's at a decent bit rate (I should have used VBR encoding, however).

I was thinking the other day. It was a Sunday that I was doing this...thinking! Christianity is really quite simple once you get past the initial hump of believing that Jesus's death, burial, and resurrection are an atonement for our sins. You know the rest. But after that, that's where it gets simple--by simple, I merely mean in principle. For in principle, Christianity is the belief that Jesus (actually GOD) came down to earth, this firmament between hell and the heavenly realm, and sacrificed himself for us. Now, that sounds like a whole book; well, it is--the Bible. However, I'm not trying to explain or discuss that; I'm trying discuss the simplicity of being or living as a Christian. Listen! The Bible speaks of and illustrates sacrifice. An example is found in Romans 12:1 -

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. - The Message courtesy of www.biblegateway.com

So, clearly I, we, everyone, should, being Christian, give up everything to GOD. Our every breath. Our every second of thought or idea. However, sacrifice comes with its unforgettable partner--love. Love is so special and so filling. Yet, it is the one which I find the most difficult. We are to love for it says in 1 Corinthians 13:3 -

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. - The Message

Giving up everything is--everything. We have to love. But, however, to find a contentment in life, I find the we have to let go of everything--loved ones, loved things, everything. Some people find this hardest. I find the love to be hardest. Willing to cherish all others above myself. That takes such consciousness and continual attention; this is why I often neglect love. It's something to work on--sure enough!

Actually I ended up not going to the swing dance shin-dig, because the cable man did not come till the last minute to install the cable at my new house. And despite his tardiness, I'm still without cable. I call that lazy. Anyway, today is the big day. I have my much anticipated organic chemistry test. YES!!! Not really, though. I feel pretty confident. I've been studying, and studying, and studying. However, you don't really know what king of curve the professor is going to throw at you on the test. I'm just hoping for a nice inside one curve, so I can crank it over the left field wall--at least get on base (catch what I'm saying). Make a fine grade. Anyway, back to studying.

I just wanted to add a few things. I have written two more poems, love poems to be more exact, for my girlfriend. You can view them here and here. Also, I just added a bunch of new photos to my flickr.com site. So check it on out. I just happen to be going swing dancing today, which is pretty exciting. I haven't done it in such a long time, probably a year or so, maybe less. I don't know. But, despite not having done it in such a long time, I'll probably be able to freakin' cut a rug. That much is sure.

I went to church today, as I always do. I always go to church, because I'm a worship minister. I like church, so I don't have a problem going to church. Besides rambling on and on about church, let me take some time to mention a recent event in my life that I feel needs mentioning.

Just to put it out there, so everyone can know where the underlying tones of depression, grief, and anger come from when they read my blogs: my younger, much younger, brother, Alex, commited suicide December 16th, 2004 at the age of 13--freakin' thirteen years old. Yes, that old. It kind of, well it does, change your life. It makes life seem so sh-- (crappy!) You know how you have your own life pictured; your wedding, your graduation, your job, your kids, everything; and, the pictures make this motion picture of life. Now, picture it (this is what mine looks like) with missing frames, missing scenes, blurred images, and burnt holes in the film itself. It makes the movie suck. Hence, life is sh--y. I'm trying to censor myself for the sake of everyone else. I would much rather use profanity when I get upset. Anyway, I just had to put that out there; put it on the table; lay out the hand of cards; take off the "fig leaves."

This is taken from my ourmedia.org blog which I felt should be posted in my real blog. I just thought that it should be here displaying my life for what it is, no censorship of hardships or triumphs. They all place a mark on our thread or fabric life, just adding to the marvelous design of our eternal fabric. So that is why I choose to add my brother's death in my blog. It surely doesn't make me happy--very sad, in fact.

Like it the title says this is just an easy day. Just had to work for 6 hours, and, now, I have to study, study, study for Organic Chemistry. I hope the post directly after that test is not some morbid blog about me sucking on the test Wednesday.

You know what I would like: to fly. Wouldn't be neat to be able just to fly. Not like, not like a plane or jet--just to be able to float, to be able to soar high into the air, and come blasting down towards the earth like a meteor, and, then, turn up right at the last minute. Wouldn't that be amazing? I think so, anyways. I'm just dreamin'--imagining.

As you've probably noticed I haven't updated my blog in a while. I've been so busy with school and everything: getting books, and studying, and moving into my new house, and whatever; just plain busy. I just wanted to update some stuff. I've finally got my computer hooked up; however, I'm waiting anxiously for the cable internet to be setup at home. For now, I'm internetless at home. I'm not really sure that's a word. I haven't been doing to much but just simply living. Homework hasn't been to cumbersome, yet. So, I'm pretty happy about that.

Anyway, besides all the trivial stuff, I was reading my bible the other day--actually at church--and I came across a most touching and inspiring revelation. I don't know--I've always known that God is three persons in one, the Trinity. But, upon reading 2 Corinthians 13:14 from my bible, The Message, and was just moved in a way of the bible's intended worship of God. As a worship leader, that means something. To me, it meant that I should be worshipping and leading others to worship all three parts of GOD--The Father, The Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ. We should have songs for all three. They all want to be worshipped. So, nevertheless, it kind of charged me or encouraged me to sing to all three, to have a song for each one, to worship and to honor each one individually. Now, it's just a matter of finding a song for each one.

Well, I had a most splendid day, except for it's unfortunate late evening events, which won't be expressed here in this blog. I had great dinner with Sarah at Olive Garden--get the tour of Italy. It's great! Get it! You should!

Anyway, besides all that food stuff, I'm really enjoying Physics this semester. I'm learning about electrical charges, to put it plainly. It's pretty interesting; however, my professor claims it's the most boring of physics. We'll just have to see.